Smarter Goals. Sharper Mind. Fewer Excuses

This week, I’ve trained four times, seen friends, and actually been fully present with my kids after school – and yet, I’ve felt oddly guilty. Why? Because my inbox wasn’t overflowing and my to-do list looked…. quiet.

This is a very unfamiliar feeling for me; having space. Modern productivity culture makes this feel almost suspicious. I have spent years burning the candle at both ends, running large projects, raising a young family, training, house projects and a busy desk and inbox to match. Stepping up to my new role this year, I thought this would continue. But as my role and responsibility has increased, so too has my time. One thing that was not on my 2025 bingo card.

I am not complaining about this. My wife is very busy with her career and it made me see how I have been living for the last 20 years or so. Oddly though, it was not guilt free. I had a sense that I should have been matching her ‘busyness’ and it took me a few days of this to realise how crazy this mentality is.

My jiu jitsu coach recently started teaching full time and with that, has introduced some day sessions. Having read the brilliant Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman, I decided to put the sessions into my diary as appointments and commit to increase my training. I have managed to make a lot of these sessions and I feel great for doing so. The first few times I left the busy office to head out in my training gear, it felt so strange like I was doing something wrong as others around me were ‘busy’. I would come home to my wife who was still working at her laptop and feel like I should have an even more packed work agenda given my role. As she finished some work one evening, I laid in bed and pulled out my old notebook that I had for learning settings for my new camera; and it got me thinking. Now I have the time to pick this back up again. But can I allow myself to do so without the guilt?!

I have seemingly and somewhat unconsciously conditioned myself to measure my worth by my output, not experience. Partly, I feel like that is due to timescale; change moving over years as opposed to changes materialising quickly. As my role has become more strategic and less day to day delivery, my decisions cary greater impact on the business but I am afforded more time to make them. A transition that seems very strange when your constantly on the hamster wheel fielding phone calls on two devices, and emails on 3 around various meetings each day.

When my work has slowed down in terms of smaller deliverables, my inner critic pipes up: “You should be doing more”. This has been with me for as long as I can remember. I am starting to think that this guilt is not the truth I should be living by, but just conditioning. Some light introspection afforded to me kindly by a little more free time is providing some self awareness.

I am apparently allergic to an empty diary.

Why then have I always equated “being busy” with ‘being valuable”? I don’t have the answer yet. Perhaps in time I will be able to flesh it out. But for now, the best I can come up with is that… it’s all I have known and it has got me this far.

Whenever that busyness dropped, very recently for the first time, I have felt exposed, almost like I had lost all my momentum. The backdrop to this is my jiu jitsu training is more consistent that it has ever been and the business is producing record months; so something are working well. Life is starting to feel a little less like one long sprint; sometimes the quiet weeks are where recovery, ideas, and clarity happen. I certainly feel like the past week has been beneficial to me.

Training more, reconnecting with people, being more present.

These things are not distractions, as I have been identifying them for so long – they are investments in energy and identity. When we recharge outside of work, we expand our capacity for the future.

What this week has taught me. Slow dow to speed up. Rest and recovery is important. That I need to redefine what a productive week is to me. A productive week is not just output, it is also alignment. I need to continue to work on finding a balance between creation, connection and recovery. Maybe some weeks are meant for acceleration, and others for breathing.

“Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is stop trying to be productive.”

Permission to breathe. That goes for you too.

This week, try giving yourself permission not to fill every gap. I am aware I am extremely lucky that I own my own schedule. Try to find your wins, even if you are not as fortunate as me. Let rest, hobbies, and presence count as real productivity metrics and see how this affects your mentality and reflection on your week. Progress without guilt – that’s my goal.

Maybe I didn’t tick every box this week, but I know I built strength, shared valuable time and recharged – I am sure that’s work that will pay off later. The quiet weeks are not wasted; they are preparation.

This week, my thoughts are not from a place of ‘hustle’. It came from the quiet side of the productivity spectrum, one I don’t come across often and I feel rarely gets any credit.

Balancing calm and guilt is something I am at least now aware of and I am happy I have found it.

Hope your week is going well and you can be afforded some time, now matter how small, over the coming days and weeks, to slow down yourself and see what impact and affects this has on you.